faller Chapter 9 the boy

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Chapter 9

the boy

We never did make it to the creek.

I never really thought we were going to make it there anyway.

I never thought that the broken man would make it all the way without falling down.

In the end him falling down had nothing to do with it.

We were almost halfway across the field. He was stumbling along and looking like every step was going to be his last one upright, but he kept on walking.

We were near the plastic wading pool with the cartoon whales on it.

I remember that.

I never knew where that pool came from. It was there for as long as I can remember. Since the beginning of time. Like that stupid pool filled up with dirt and old dog shit and skeletons of dead animals and the flies always buzzing around it just belonged exactly right where it was. During the winter there’d be ice and dead field mice stuck in the ice. It was all cracked and covered in dirt but you could still see the cartoon whales even though they were faded and you could tell the pool used to be blue, but it wasn’t the blue that you could see now or the blue that it was supposed to be.

The broken man stopped and was looking down at the pool like he wished it was full of water instead of dirt and shit and dead animals.

He was still kind of swaying back and forth and staring down at the pool.

You could hear the river making lapping sounds at the rocks from there. You couldn’t hear the creek but you could hear the river.

I could almost feel how thirsty the broken man was. I could almost taste his thirst every time he tried to lick his lips, so dry, and his tongue fat and bloated with thirst. I didn’t think he was going to be able to take another step. I was sure he was going to fall down right then just from the thought of the water and I still wasn’t sure if I was going to do anything about it.

He was skinny, but still too big for me to carry or drag.

I could go to the creek myself and bring him some water, but I wasn’t so sure if I would.

That’d be a lot of work.

I didn’t know him. I didn’t owe him anything. And I didn’t know if he wouldn’t do something bad once he had some water in his belly. I wasn’t sure if I cared what he did, but it seemed like a lot of trouble to bring him water just so he could do me bad. It seemed like a lot of work for something and somebody I didn’t care about one way or another.

He stood there for a while swaying back and forth, looking at that dirty plastic pool and probably listening the river, maybe thinking about the water he couldn’t make it to or drink even if he could make it there.

Nobody in their right mind would ever drink from that river no matter how clean it looked. Factories still dumping chemicals in there. Just not the chemicals that makes the river stink and change colour

And then the broken man took one little step.

And then another step.

I was surprised at that.

Even Goat looked surprised that he took another step.

I was sure he was done. I was sure he was going down. I was sure he was going to fall down right there and never be able to get back up.

But he didn’t.

He took a couple of steps and then he took a couple of more, and I followed him and then got out ahead of him again.

That was when the racket back at the house started.

At first it was just people showing up. A car pulling up and then things falling down. I heard it but I just figured it was Dianne and I was keeping my eyes on the man to see if he was going to fall down. She was probably just leaving food again, in the place that I showed her. Maybe some clothes. And maybe she dropped some things. It was better if I didn’t have to talk to her anyway. She did her best but there was always those questions in her eyes, and the worry too. It was always better if I didn’t have to talk to her. That’s why I showed her the hiding place. Sometimes I would see her coming and I would go off just so I wouldn’t have to see all the questions and worry in her eyes.

Reminding me who I was. Reminding me what I was.

Goat started to call out. She knew Dianne always brought food. I’m guessing Goat would have preferred if we went back to the food.

Then I heard another car pull up. I wanted to look then, but I was sure the broken man was about to fall down and I didn’t want to miss that.

There was a little pause and then the screaming started.

The broken man turned around.

He turned in this slow strange way, where he moved his body instead of turning his head, and I thought he was going to fall, but then I wanted to look too.

I saw the cop.

The one that was in charge of the other cops.

We didn’t call him Chief because the Island already had a Chief, so most people called him Captain. He didn’t seem like a Captain to me, so I didn’t call him anything at all. Not to his face. He was just a cop and him showing up was never good for anybody. He always acted like that badge and uniform made him the big cheese but he was just one more bad guy on the Rez looking to take whatever people have left. He looked more like an Indian than most, even though he was only about a quarter Indian, if even that. But it was on his mother’s side so he got to say he was an Indian and looking like an Indian sure helped him get that badge. He was always smiling like he was your best friend but I’d seen enough of him to know he wasn’t anybody’s friend but his own. He was usually after my father or my uncles but sometimes he just showed up because he got it in his head again about sticking me in some home.

There usually wasn’t enough in it for him to bother for long though.

So far.

And he was a little scared of Goat.

Goat head butted him right in the nuts one time. He walked right past Goat without greeting her.

Everybody knew you had to say hello to Goat if you didn’t want her to go after you. It was just good manners, even for a goat. But he went charging by and she caught coming back out.

He went down like a sack of bricks.

That was a funny day.

That made me smile.

Goat had a way of making me smile more than most things or most people did.

The cop was standing there holding Dianne by the shoulders and she was screaming and pointing at us.

I couldn’t figure out what she was so upset about.

I know she tried real hard but she did get upset pretty easy an awful lot. That’s how anyone could tell she wasn’t from the Rez.

I stood there and the broken man stood there and the two of them kept looking over at us like someone had died or somebody had robbed a bank.

A bank in the city. Not on the Rez.

The cop let go of Dianne’s shoulders with one hand and kind of reached for his gun.

I felt more than saw the broken man’s body sag like he knew exactly what was coming.

I just stood there.

I didn’t know what was going on. I couldn’t figure out why everyone was acting the way they were acting. Sometimes people are nothing like anything I can understand. Most times people are a mystery to me.

Most times I’m a mystery to me.

That’s why I like having Goat around. Goat makes more sense than most people.

The cop pulled out his gun.

The broken man fell to his knees and put his hands behind his head without being told.

Dianne kept on screaming.

Goat was screaming now too.

The cop looked confused at first, like he couldn’t figure how whether to stay with Dianne and try to calm her down with the gun still in his hand, or come after us. But I still couldn’t figure out why he would want to do that, or why he had his gun out.

I’m not stupid.

I knew that they thought that the broken man was dangerous.

It was just so obvious to me that he wasn’t, and it seemed stupid to me that they thought he was. I could never figure out how people talked themselves into so many stupid things.

The cop lifted his gun up a little like he was going to point it, and then stopped, still looking like he couldn’t figure out what was going on. He told the broken man to lie down on his stomach and keep his hands behind his head, and the broken man did that. The cop didn’t yell. But his voice was shaking a little.

He told me to walk towards him but I just stood there.

He seemed more dangerous with that gun to me than the broken man ever was.

He said it again and the broken man told me to do it. His face was in the dirt and his voice sounded funny coming through the dirt.

I still didn’t move.

Goat was screaming and Dianne was screaming and the cop was pointing his gun.

There was too much stuff coming at me all at once.

I was all filled up with the stupidity and the nonsense of what was happening.

When I get filled up like that all I want is to get away from people so that’s what I did.

I turned and ran back into the woods. I needed to leave all that screaming and all that craziness behind me. Trees don’t yell at you and birds don’t tell you what to do. Even bears make more sense than people. The woods were always the safest place that I knew.

I could hear all the screaming and the shouting and then a gun shot and all I knew was that it didn’t make any sense and it was all too much of nothing, so I just kept right on running.

My Grandmother told me that in the old days the People would outrun the British and the French. They would run for miles without getting tired. White men called them Indian Runners. The People called them the Dog Runners because they would walk and run and walk and run without stopping the way a dog or a wolf or a coyote would do.

I wondered how far I could run without rest or sleep or food before I would fall down dead.

I wondered how far I could run before I would never have to turn around and come back.

I wondered how far I could run before all the noise in my head would just stop.

I wondered if Goat was following me.

I wondered if the broken man was still thirsty.

And I just kept on running.

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