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Showing posts from January, 2021

The Count TRIGGER WARNING: The following deals with suicide and suicidal thoughts.

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  TRIGGER WARNING: The following deals with suicide and suicidal thoughts. The Count So I came close to killing myself a few days ago. That’s really hard for me to say. That’s really hard for me to admit. It’s taken me this long to write about it. In all my life, despite the horrors of my childhood and so many tragedies, I have only tried to kill myself once before. After my car accident, when the doctors told me that I’d never walk again, and all that I knew about myself was my physical abilities, I tried to roll my wheelchair off a cliff. The woman that I loved, who had moved in with me to help me rehabilitate, who had the reflexes and the skills of a panther, grabbed me by my sweater. I don’t know how she got to me that fast. I was sure she was too far away to stop me and I didn’t hesitate. Not even a little. The wheelchair went over and she dragged me back from the edge. A little over a year later I was walking. And she died in a car accident. Laura. I didn’t even try to kill m...

TREE ORACLE OAK

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  TREE ORACLE OAK This is my first encounter with the Tree Oracle cards. They were given to me by my dear and insightful friend Erin. It seems exactly right that the first card that would appear to me is Oak, Kanawakón:ha . I have always had a close relationship with Trees. My Tóta, my Mohawk Grandmother, taught me to greet and thank a tree every single day. And I still do this. It grounds me and humbles me to recognize the importance of nature. And one of the types of trees that I have always felt the strongest vibrations from is the Oak. In the woods that I grew up in Oak was the Ohkwa:ri, the Bear, of Trees. Kanawakón:ha   was the mightiest trees in those woods and is the mightiest of trees in my world in and around Toronto, in Canada. Oak, Kanawakón:ha , speaks to me of Grounding, and of being Grounded. So often we walk this life without even realizing that we are off balance, that we are not Grounded. Kanawakón:ha is a reminder to stop, to breathe and to Ground our self....

faller (the whole thing so far...)

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  faller Chapter 1 Ohkwá:ri - The Bear by Jules F. Delorme There was this bear.  This ohkwá:ri A long time ago.  Way back.  Before there was too much of everything. This bear.  Not a good bear or a bad bear.  Just a bear. For most of her life this ohkwá:ri had it alright.  She was the only bear around.  I don’t know if she was the only bear in the whole world or anything, but she was the only one around in those parts.  Nothing messed with her.  She just went around doing her thing.  Being a bear. But then one day people started to show up.  Everybody knows how that goes.  Just a few many at first. Then a few more. And then more and more until there are so many you can’t even keep count.  The way it always goes with people.  At first the people just did their own thing. Hunted and fished. Planted some corn.  Stayed away from the bear.  But then, when there was enough of them to do something they starte...