bacon pete

bacon pete sits up on the old rock on top of big stink hill and argues with the sky. 
-what the fuck? bacon pete asks the emptiness -what exactly what fuckin exactly was i supposed to say? huh? in that situation? in that particular fuckin situation?
the sky just stares back at pete. not a real big talker, the sky.
-there I am. bacon pete goes on -there I am and that shit comes down comes down like wham. what exactly did they expect me to do? that's what I'd like to know.
bacon pete gets up off the rock and walks around a bit. stops. sits back down. looks back up at the sky.
-am I wrong? he asks the passing cloud -is that what it is? is there something wrong with me? with the way I'm lookin at this?
pete looks down at the houses below. quiet now. not much moving around cept for some skinny old dogs searching through the garbage dump.
-i could be a whole lotta things. bacon pete says to the quiet -i coulda ended up a whole lotta bad ways. been a drunk or a junkie jumpin off the new bridge and splittin myself in two just outta boredom. gulpin down unleaded to get high od’in fuckin doin myself 
off cuz i'm too stupid to be alive. i coulda fucked up big time in so many ways but no i hang on to what i'm s'posed to be what i'm s'posed to do and that ain't good enough?
the quiet don't say nothin. it never does.
-fuck that. fuck them. pete says -i been the only responsible one around here and you're gonna tell me i gotta step up? i ain't never fuckin stepped down. fuck you.
bacon pete gets up again. walks up some of that nervous energy. kicks the old rock with his scarred up worn out steel toed boot.
-i got a job. he hollers at the rock -i got a job how many people round here got jobs? huh? real ones not fuckin collectin pop bottles waitin on the welfare check to show up whinin how the white man's got me down. a real job. real hard workin paycheck fuckin job. i'm 
pretty much the only fucker on the entire rez got a fuckin real job and I'm getting told i gotta step up? i ain't never stepped fuckin fuckin down. fuck that fuck you all of youse i ain't never once stepped fuckin down. fuck that fuck all of youse.
bacon pete kicks the rock again. he stands there for a while just thinking. scratches his head. looks up at the sky. at the cloud already far away. down at the rock. at the old rock. at the houses.
-fuck. Pete says -i know what i gotta do. i know exactly what i gotta do.
an old bent back dog yips in the garbage dump. not so much at pete as just at the world in general. the dog yips again and the limps off behind a pile of garbage bags. 
quiet again.
-you think I don't know what I gotta do but I do. Pete says -i do know. i just... fuck.
pete goes quiet. nothing much left to say. said his piece to the sky and the cloud and the rock and the quiet. 
he looks down at the rock. at where he kicked it.
-sorry. Pete says to the old rock -sorry rock. i just. the.. just. sorry.
bacon pete stands still for a while. then he takes a big ragged breath and starts walking back down the hill.
it's still pretty quiet down there.
for now.
yeah.

it's quiet for now.



#fiction #writing #writers #authors #author #novels #novelnovels #newnovels #julesdelorme #julesfdelorme #faller #delormewriting #scarboroughwritersfightclub #story #bear #native #nativestories #metis #metisstories #baconpete

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