her name was probably not rose. she had changed her name so many times over the many years that i knew her that i could not recall her original name or if i had ever known it. i had known her since i was a kid on the rez. she was older. enough for me to see her as an adult. and almost every time I ran into her she was going by a different name. rose was just the first one i remember hearing. she wasn’t beautiful. her presence didn’t carry the weight that beautiful people do when you’re young. i once heard a guy her own age refer to her as pig face and that was pretty close to the truth. i did not feel the sadness that i do now on reflection that simply because she had not been born the lucky winner of the lottery of beauty that she was so easily dismissed, not just by others, but by me. she wasn’t particularly kind. but then I doubt that she was dealt much kindness in her life. she wasn’t funny or charming or crazy enough to be frightening. she was just this older gir...
On the face of it Raónraon, Hummingbird seems like a sign and an animal that is the polar opposite of what it is that I’m living right now. I have had some serious health problems lately. Seizures, brain damage with increasingly failing memory. I’ve lost so many souls and am still losing so many souls that I dearly love. As a trainer, my primary occupation for the last very long while I am having a difficult time finding a new place to train the few clients that I have left and I am just not the trainer that I used to be. And, despite having lived a soul crushing life, whether it was manifested in rage, deep wracking grief or an always existing desire to be better than what I have been given, I have never ever lacked some kind of passion. I have been depressed. I have been suicidal. I have been homicidal. I have loved and had my heart broken so many times that the fragments seem like they will never fit together again. And I have made so many people fall in love with me and brok...
Why People Got Disease This is not a Mohawk story. This is a Cherokee story. It’s a good story though. An important story. It’s about when the first People showed up on Turtle Island. It’s about why we have disease and sickness. How when those first People showed up they got on the other animals’ nerves. How they didn’t respect the other animals and didn’t respect the earth, so the other animals got together around the sacred fire and decided to do something about it. We like to think that some People are better than other People but as far as animals are concerned People all have to be taught respect. People have to be taught how to behave. People need something to keep them from crowding the planet and doing nothing but harm. Back near the beginning of People they hadn’t learn to respect the earth or respect their animal cousins so all the other animals got together and decided to do something about it. They gathered in a circle around a sacred fire and passed...
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