JULES DELORME

  Happy! on Netflix by Jules F. Delorme I was walking with a friend the other day, talking about our favourite Christmas movies and shows it suddenly popped in my mind that there had been a show the previous year, or the year before that, or maybe even the year before that, that I had thought was so incredibly brilliant, so hilarious and outrageous that surely I’d never forget it. The only things I remembered exactly about the show was that it had been on Netflix, and it had starred Christopher Meloni of Law & Order SVU and Oz fame. I remembered that well because Meloni has come to be known as subtle stoic type of actor and, in this show that I couldn’t remember the name of, he goes over the top with an abandon that we’ve only come to expect from John Malkovich or Billy Bob Thornton. What the hell was the name of that show?! When I got home I looked it up. And discovered there was a second season set around Easter. The name of the show is Happy!, and I decided to watch the Christma

  bacon pete’s christmas by jules f. delorme bacon pete snarls at the guy in the santa hat. -yer a indian. -bacon pete growls –yer a dern indian. you think santa claus gives a crap about you. the guy doesn’t pay bacon pete any attention. everybody knows about bacon pete. everybody knows that bacon pete hates everybody and everything. -freakin whiteman comes in my house i’ll shoot him dead. shoot him and his damn reindeer too. have some good reindeer steaks. i’ll even shoot that one with the red nose. bacon pete stops to pull up his pants. he shakes his scrawny fist at the cold winter sky. -just you try comin to my house. –bacon pete yells. –just you try and i’ll show you somethin. i’ll show you somethin you fat white prick. i’ll put a hole in you and yer damn reindeer. bacon pete takes a few steps slipping and sliding on the snow and ice. stops to pull up his pants again. -put a hole in any whiteman that comes around here. bacon pete sees badger coming out of his house. -hey badger. –p